Martina Evans

poet / novelist

CHAPTER TWENTYFIVE

We could put our two hands inside the waistbands of our skirts. Colette put it down to our regular smoking. She had given up smoking in the cattle pen. Now we smoked in an old shed that had a hole in the roof. Trish often climbed up on the roof to look out for us. She didn’t smoke but liked being on the farm. We never worried about the silent farm nuns.
‘Those creatures would be afriad to even
look at Paul!’ Colette said and I agreed.
I cringed at the thought of Sister Paul blasting those gentle creatures with her tongue. ‘I suppose they have to talk to her at meal times. Pass me the butter on the rectangular plate, if you please, Sister Mary Stanislaus!’ I bellowed, imitating Paul and Trish nearly fell off the roof.
The lay nuns were nice. I told Colette and Trish what one of the Leaving Certs told me. Lay nuns had to do all the menial tasks because they hadn’t brought a dowry when they joined the convent. Colette and Trish said it was fucking awful and I felt satisfied, sitting there smoking and exposing injustices.
‘I can’t understand it. I mean they’re supposed to believe that Jesus preferred poor people and Paul has a plastic carrier bag of
Dubliners cassettes in her bedroom. The capitalist pig.’
‘It’s easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than a rich man to get into Heaven,’ said Trish, wisely.
‘I wouldn’t like to be getting Paul through the eye of a needle,’ Colette stubbed out her cigarette on a stone jutting out from the wall.’
We all nodded, seriously. Thinking about the size of Paul.
‘The bitch had the cheek to ask me what I’d had for dinner yesterday,’ Colette said.
‘I said that I had two chops, three potatoes and four helpings of carrots.’
‘And did she believe you?’ I couldn’t get over the way they let Colette talk to them.
‘She’d no bloody choice,’ said Colette, looking thundery.


Colette was quiet these days and she rarely joked like she used to. It was an effort for her to get around because she was so weak all the time. I wished things were like they were in the old days. Colette had got so serious, constantly studying and writing out French verbs on the back of her hand, I didn’t worry any more about getting caught smoking. Things like Maupassant and how thin our arms were seemed more important.
One Sunday we were walking towards the refectory when a wild crowd of girls surged down the stairs screaming, ‘Buns for tea, buns for tea!’
We didn’t get buns often now and when we did, there was even less to go around. Paul had some theory that girls needed more brown bread and butter to fatten them up.
Colette looked disgusted.’They’re like wild savages We’ll go down to that radiator for a few minutes to let that racket die down.’
We passed the tangle of bottle-green uniforms and sharp elbows, spilling in the refectory door. I thought that I could hear Mother Colm’s grumpy voice as I passed and wondered why she was there. It was usually Sister Carmel who supervised tea. We walked down to the tall cream radiator at the end of the corridor and inserted our purple starved hands into the spaces. Mother Colm passed. I heard her fast heels clicking as she walked quickly in her sensible shoes.
‘Bloody hell,’ Colette muttered and I turned.
My mouth fell open to see Mother Colm hurrying past with her head down. She was almost unrecognisable, her head completely bare, showing a surprisingly small head covered in short clipped grey hair. She clutched her veil to her quaking chest and passed us quickly not meeting our eyes.
‘Something must have happened in the refectory,’ I watched the back of Colm’s grey head, as it retreated down the corridor, small and vulnerable-looking.
We went down to see what it was. ‘It’s about time we went anyway, I’m really dying for my coffee,’ I said, thinking hopelessly about duck loaf.
Colette smiled and looked superior. She did not admit to having any physical needs and liked to give the impression that she went to the refectory because she had nothing else to do. We got our jars of coffee from our lockers and went to the corner of the refectory where Sister Carmel left the pots of hot water.
My stomach was growling and rumbling like a tormented bear. Colette looked disapproving. ‘You’ll have to get that thing under control,’ she said severely.
I noticed that Sister Carmel seemed distracted. Some first years were going back for third and fourth slices of duck loaf and she didn’t even seem to notice. Colette told me to stop looking at Carmel and to drink up my coffee. She put four teaspoons of coffee in each cup and we swallowed down the scalding liquid, quickly. We drank the coffee so hot it burned, Colette said it was good to mortify the throat. To stop it from swallowing too much. The caffeine raced into our bloodstream and I felt a bit high.
Trish ran into the refectory and almost collided with Carmel.
‘Will you have a cup, Trish?’ Colette said, firing several more spoons of coffee into her mug.
‘No, I won’t, thanks. Listen, there’s been the most terrible thing. Colm came in to help Carmel and there was so much pushing and pulling for buns, her veil was pulled off. There’s going to be absolute war. She’s gone to get Paul.’
‘What?’
‘Yeah, and not only that but Father Hognett was kind of attacked.’
Attacked?’
‘Well, not exactly attacked, but….shh…tell you later.’
There was a loud banging on the bell. Paul had arrived, fury swelling her habit and veil like the sails of a ship in a storm.
I have never heard the likes in all my born days! Hand me that speaker, Sister Carmel.’
Carmel fumbled with the megaphone.
‘Jesus, look! It’s the thing they use for the May procession,’ Colettte whispered behind her hand.
‘Give me the speaker,’ Paul said to Carmel, really snappy. Carmel dropped it and caught it with her knee. Paul gave her a filthy look and wrenched it away from her. ‘If you don’t know how to handle it!’
I was raging, I looked around to see if everyone else was outraged but Colette nudged me, ‘Stop drawing attention to yourself!’
Paul switched on the megaphone. A screech filled the refectory. She turned it down. ‘You might wonder why I am using this equipment but I have a very serious matter to announce.’
How could anyone be serious now? The room was heaving with giggles. I felt sorry for the girls in the front row. Trish was in a terrible state. I thought that Colm would say something to her. Colette gave her a hankie, she put it over her nose and mouth.
Paul’s voice was fierce funny, muffled and loud at the same time. ‘Father Hognett knocked to his face on the terrazza floor and Mother Colm’s veil torn off! I’ve never seen such greed in all my life! You’re like barbarians.’
Trish whispered, ‘Father Hognett was taking a short cut from the convent through St Joseph’s dormitory and …’
‘Do I hear whispering at the back there?’ Paul turned up the megaphone. It screeched again. ‘Stand out where I can see you, Patricia Cronin. The poor man’s having his knee dressed in the kitchen at this moment. Only that the man is a saint, he’d have you all arrested.’
Paul went on and on. Loud, low and then medium volume. The megaphone screeching and beeping. ‘…whose parents have sacrificed everything. Such selfish greedy girls I have never witnessed in all my years as principal of this school. But I will get to the bottom of this. I will and I’ll find the ringleaders.’ She turned up the volume for the last bit.
When we put our mugs away, we could see into the kitchen where Father Hognett was drinking a cup of tea. His foot was resting on a chair. But he didn’t look too bad and he was eating a slice of duck loaf.
Everyone had to eat dry bread and water for a whole day. We didn’t give a damn. Paul said there would never be buns for tea again. Colette was laughing. Two second-years were suspended. I felt bad about that although Colette said it was their own fault. They shouldn’t have been eating buns in the first place. She was jubilant about the bread and water fast. ‘They can’t touch us. We are above food.’
But I knew if they took away our coffee we would collapse.